–inSider–

here i am again…aLone..my Life is going downhiLL..my heart juzt
keep on breaking and breaking again…i’m becoming so numb..y am i  feeLing diz way?!..i wanna scream….i wanna shout..but no wordz are coming out of my mouth everytime i’m trying to….  pain..pain..pain…so tired of diz feeLing..how can i get rid of diz numb emotion….dizguizing..dizguizing..dizguizing..yeah.. it’z an art dat secOnd nature wid me..i’m wearing a mazk..a thouzand mazk dat i’m afraid 2 take off..keep on saying dat i need no one…hiding oL d heartaches wid a smile..but, beneath lies fear..confusion and aloneness..i don’t wana let anyone 2 knw about it for i panic at the tot dat my weakness wiLl be expOZed..dat’z y i frantically create a mask to hide behind…im afraid 2 know dat deep down,i’m nothing…afraid 2 Let uh see d real me and rejEct mE..so i pLay my game..my "desperate pretending game " wid a facade of assurance w/o and trembLing chiLd w/in…i hate d fact dat u’r foOled by me…can’t uh feEl d heartaches w/in me?!..pLz..don’t be fooLed by what i am saying..but peeL watever cover uh cud see..so uh can heLp me out..coz aLL i need is acceptance..Love..and suMone hu can make me feeL dat i’m worthy..i’m tired of playing diz fooLizh game..i’m teLLing uh everything dat’z really nothin’..and nothin’ wat’z of everythin’...i keep on pretending dat i’m hapi in front of many pipOL,use 2 Laf and make dem beliv dat i’m feeLin’ reaLly okei. .but wen nobody’z around..aLl i can do is to LUk up..tuk a deep breath and wait untiL tearz broke up from my eyes and stream suddenLy and unstoppabLy down my face…sheeesshh…i’m crying aLmozt every night..i need sumone 2 shed my tearz…i hate hiding…i don’t Like pLaying superficiaL game..pLz.. help me remove my mazk…don’t jUzt pazz by me…i fight 4 d very thing i cry out for..pLz try 2 break down d  waLLz around me……..:’(