–inSider–

.wAt do peopLe want from me?!!..

.i juZt want to be left aLone…

.it always seems Like im never good enough

to fit anyone eLse’z expectation..

.so why dont they Leave me the heLL alone then??!…

.aLL my life,

.we have viewed things differentLy,

.but instead of appreciating

that i have the ability to think for myself

and that im wise enough to know whats right and wrong,

.you criticize me, mock me, beLittLe me and make me feel Like i am less of a human being!!…

.i hate diz Life!.

_{Not quite.}

My neck is all better!

Which is good- because now my foot is all fucked up.

And just like my neck, I woke up in pain with no effing clue as to what the eff I effing did.

I was fine when I went to bed last night.

Today is one of those ‘I just want to go home’ days.

I’m a hair’s width away from tears (angry tears) because everything-everything-

I have touched has gone to shit this week;

which is no surprise because anything and everything I’ve tried to do since I got here has fucked up. Even the simplest of details seems to find some way, somehow, to get snagged up in some asinine glitch.

It’s getting ridiculous! It gives me the creepy feeling that something is trying to keep me from doing anything that might result in getting life back on track. I believe it is quite obvious- someone has a voodoo doll of me stashed somewhere.

The neck was bad enough that I was immobilized and right when I start back into the old jogging routine,

I get some phantom pain in my foot? I’m not often prone to this kind of shit.

I’m not a headache person,

a backache person- none of that.

I don’t remember rolling my ankle or anything. In fact, I felt great last night.

Now it’s back to the painkillers we go.

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!!!!!!!!

.hmmm…
.sUmtimes I’m gEttin’ thiz
‘i’m better you‘ feeLing in my bLood….
.wEn dEr izn’t riLi anything tO bE bEtter abOut….

.I mEan,
people can feel pain
and sUch…
.dEy cAn gEt attAched
to pEopLe and crEate
sUmthin’ oUt of it…..

.I uSe tO bE abLe to dO dAt…
.but it’z hArd tO remEmber
hOw,why,when lately…

.I think,
.I fake my fEElings out sO mUch..:((
.I jUzt reprEss everythiNg…
.Like a shAdow in a way….

.At d eNd of the dAy,
.uh want tO fEEL Lyk
uh beLong sUmwHeRe
and fEEL Loved……

.I feeL Lyk disappear in my rOOm...andthink of things….
.I juzt stay awake on cEllphone’s tOne….

.Thinking….
.DrawiNg…..
.Writing….
.Crying….

.watching the time go by…

.i hAtE it..
.i LOve it..
.cALL me eMO.
.i dOn’t giVe a sh*t!.
.Lyf iZ 80% tOrtUre..[yez..it iz].
.aNd i might gEt d pipOL sayiNg:.
."oh,it’z nOt dAt bAd…"..or
."it wiLL gEt bEtter…"…
.and sh*t..dn’t agrEE wid or aLreAdy kNow.

.dEr’z oLweiz a waLL…
.sUmthin’ in d way,
a driving force agAinst mE…
.i kip rUnnin’ at it…
.i gOt kNOcked oUt…
.and kip tryin’ aNd tryiN’…
.i pAint it..
.i hAck at it..
.i’ve triEd cLimbing it..
.jUzt tO find my way arOund it….

.yEz..i’m whining…
.i shUt up abOut my Lyf prEtty weLL
aLL dAy..aLL d tyM tO evEryoNe..
.hEre i rAmbLe..grOwL..
.it’z hArd fAcing everydAy…
.i want tO stAy sLeeping…
.drEaming..oUt of rEALity..

.i hAte dAt everythin’ is agAinst mE..
.eVen on gOod dAyz..or in gOod mOodz..
.sUmthin’ isn’t ryt or gOez rOng…
.i’m nOt azkin’ fOr pErfEctioN...
.bUt mOr dAn oNe gOOd dAy a mOnth wUd bE
niCe...
.h*LL,one gOod dAy in a mOnth wUd bE
okei,i guess..
.i myt gEt a gOOd dAy oNce every tHree
mOnthz..
.and it’z oftEn fOLLowed by a wEEk of
sh*t wOrsE dAn usuAL..

.gOttA hAvE bALAnce,ryt?!…
.f*ck!!..zzz..>;/

.whew!.

.diz gOnna bE maH firsT bLog for diz mOnth.

.i reALLy dOn’t knOw wat 2 bLog abOut.

.bUt i fEEL LikE bLogging.haha!..;)) 

.im sO fed-up. [not sO obviOuz].haha!.

.i’m jAded..gLUttEred..bored.[az oLweiz].ü

.wat happened diz mOnth?!.

.ugh!.nOthin’ nEw!.haha!.

                     .uh-owh!..ooopz..

.i pazzed d exam!.haha!.

                   .izn’t it awesOme?!..ü

.xo wat mOre?!.

♥ i undErtake d mOving-on pRocess!.haha!

•[boi.see?!.i'm aLmost ovER uh..]

                .wahaha!.ü 

           ♥.we bOth knOw it’z DEAD.♥ 

          ♥.it’z bEEn dying fOr sUmtym.♥

          ♥.bUt wE refUse 2 Let it gO.♥

.why?!..coz we’r sTupid!.wahaha!.

".my heart is crippled by d vein

dat i kip on cLOsin’….

            uh cUt mE opeN and i….

            keep bLeeding..

keep keep bLeeding LOVE"..

.dont worry..i’L be okei sUmdei.haha!.

.i wanna shAre uh sUmthin’.

.diz thin’ reALLy sUrprized mE..

        .sumbOdy tOLd me dat….

dat….dat….HE LOVES ME…

        .dat’z ooooh..oooh…stupefying!.

.he waNNa cOurt me..

     .haha!cAn uh imagine dat?!.

.so hOw sHud i hAndLe diz?!..ü

.sheeesh..sO mUch fOr diz One.

    .haha!.next tOpic…

.aww!.

i’ve gOt sh*tty Lip sOre!.

.and tO teLL yOu..

  .diz is f*ckin’ irritatin’!..

   .dEr’s a pAinfuL sensation

   wenever i sPoke a fEw wOrdz…

.in fAct,it’z pAthetic!..errr…

  .OK.THE NEXT THING IS.

.diz mOOd swingz arE d*mN weird.

.i cAn sUddenLy bEcOme d*mn EMO.

[for nO reazon,jUZt nOw]

.and bEcOmE d*mn HAPPY Later!.

.gRoooh!FREAKY jEnn!.haha!.

                             .wat to say..

                             .wat to say..

                             .wat to say?!..haha!.

.em rUnnin’ Out oF woRdz…

.wait…

.it’z sUmmer tym!..

                     .hOtta hOtta!.

                      .LALALALa.

                     .waaaaaaaaaa…

                     .BEACH beybei…

                        .waaaaaaaaa..

                        .beach.bEach.bEAch…ü

.ooooooooooh..dat’z sOOOOO fUn!!…

"under d sea…

under d sea…

                      darLin’ it’z bEtter…

                      dOwn whEre it’z wEtter…

take it fRom me…………."

                       .wahahaha!!….

.nOthin’ mOre 2 say..

                        .wahaha!.gimme mOney!..ü

..sooooo..what`z up?!!..

.okEi,i`m really sad..
.Lyf iZ so toUgh..
.I dOn`t knOw wAt 2 dO anymOr..
.weL.i knOw ryt now
.i`m doin’ d bEZt tHiNg 2 do..
.but wAt i`m doin’ hUrtz mE evEn mOre..
.i cAn`t imAginE myself
.i-Love-uH..i-Loved-uh.

.i’m sorry ________…

.i wish it cUd jUzt bE simpLE..
.Like a retro pop song..

."I want you to want me".

.boooomm~!!!!.
.end of d stOry..
.wE aLL Liv hAppiLy evEr aftEr.
.but it iz nvEr riLi Lyk dAt.
.iz it?!.;[

am i on d ryt track??!..

Death-life’s final
tragedy…ultimate thief. an over looming reality dat life is slipping away
second by second…it’s a foolish consistency 2 think dat uh are exempted in
diz scary ending of life……each of uz has our own limit…
    yeah..Many of us are
afraid to die…afraid 2 left diz silly worLd… but we can’t get rid of
diz…we can’t run…we can’t hide…watever we do…werever we go…death wiLl
olweiz be part of our mortal life…death olweiz LEave sadness..pain..scar..
and emptiness 2 d loved ones of its victim………….yes,it hurtz..
   death took my father wen i was
seven…i was just a li’l innocent girl w/o enaf knowledge abt d thingz
happenin’ around..i juzt saw dem cryin’… screamin’.. i don’t know why…til
my mom told me dat my dad is dead..at the moment there was only a sudden
blankness in my heart, like
sum part of
myself had been taken,torn away so fast dat i didn’t know wat 2
feel..it wud
cum searing.. burning.. scarring,but ryt now der was only a hole,a
void..
albeit one w/c wud eventually overflow wid d feeling..death stOle my
dad az quick as a wink of an eye..i couldn’t beliv how my fader’z young
life cud be cut so short..of all d bad pipol living in thiz foolish
world..y my dad??!!…i feel the pain of not being able to tell him how
much i cared about him and loved him before he passed away.. i was not
able 2 hug and kiss him for the last time..

  i’m
missin’ my dad…i wish i cud turn bak hiz life..if only i hav d
power… w/o my dad..my world became less friendly..less understanding
pLAce..the thought of hiz parting has olweiz been..alwayz..and will
olweiz be painfUL…

.cAn’t hELp bUt cRy…hE’z azkin’ me 2 fOrgEt everythin’ abOut hiM..he waNted me 2 fInd anader gUy hU’z wOrth my Love..hu desErves mE mOre daN him..but,i cAn’t…it’z nOt dat eAzy…fOrgettiNg sUmone iZ nOt jUzt One sNAp of Our fIngerz….it’z beeN 4 mOnthz sInce we brOke up..perO..i’m wOndrin’ whY ngauN LNg nia cNabi xaken n kLimutAn q xa..sabi niA dati mAgstArt kaMi uLit..perO bkit ngAUn…aNg sakit…i never thought i’d bE thiz nUmb 4 LovIng hiM…

dpAt nuon mo p cnabi yan..ang sakit kYa..aNu maNgyayari pAg kinaLimutan kita?!..cnabi q n nman saUng d q kaya..pnipilit mo p rin aq…

"Mkakamuv-on k din..makakakita k ng tAmang guy para sau..dhil ndi aq un..Plz poh…

ang kUlet mo tLga!..d q nga sabi kayang magmahal ng iba!..ang tigaz ng uLo…tzk..

"Hayy…ok lNg nman un..U deserv 2 be happy…Humanap k ng iba..

db sabi mu nmAN kgabi mahAl mo p rin nMAn aq..bkit nGAun…guz2 muNg kLimutaN kita…

"sobra sobra n ung ksalanan q sau..auqng msaktan ka uLi..Plz poh…

bkit..hAhayaaN mo b qng mazaktan uLit?!…tingin k nga sa sKy..bkit waLaNg stArz ngauN?!..=(

"Malamang poh uulAn..Jen,klimutan m n ung pgmamahAL mo saken…palayain mo n ung sarili mo..MAs mabuti pang makaibigan n lNg talaga tAu..

auq ng feeliNg na toh…tapoz ung gLow in the dark nmaN sa ceiLing q d nAgggLow..nkakainiz..wALA n nmAn c mama…wALA nagcocomfOrt xken…

"Buksan mO muna uLit ung iLaw mo…tapoz patayin mo uLit…

waLa!!!..npundi iLaw q knina!!..huahahah!!..weaK..auq nman Lumabas paRA papaLtan..bka itanUng qng bkit gn2 mata q…

"Hayy..pALAyain mo n nmAn sariLi mo..Plz…

bkit ba…bkit ba guz2 mong kalimutan kita??!..

"Kc uN ang narapat sau… makakabuti sau un….

makakabuti saken o sau?!!!…

"Sa ating daLAwa…d Lng sau..pAti n rin saken…

aNung gagawin q?!…mghahanap aq ng iba?!…auq…bkit parang ang dali lng sau…plibhasa kaung mga lalaki d marunong msaktan..madali lang senio makalimot…

"Masakit din un saken..Pero tanggapin n nten ang totoo…hindi aq karapat dapat sau….

bazta d p end ng fairytale q…naten…ampotpot…gumana n nman imahinasyon q…nyahaha!…

"OO na..hindi pa…

tnx…ü

"Kya nga wag  mong pigilan sarili mo n mgmahal ng iba..qng tau talga..eh,di tau..

haha!!..asa!..d aq ganun..try q nlng maging happi khit d na tau..saka d q na kelangang  humanap..dami nakapila…

"Eh,di pumili k sa nkapiLa..
 
aUq nga!!..auq magbf ng d q mahal…nanLoq n q ng iba..pati sariLi q loloqhin q pa…

Kaya mo yan…impocbLeng ndi… 

d mo kc alam qng gano kita kamahal  kya m0 nsasabi yan…qng kiLaLa mu Lng tLga aq…cnasabi q sau..mababaLiw k sken..d mu hahayaang mwala aq..

"Kaw kc,eh..ayw mOng magpakilala…Joke…Malay mo pag ngkita tau…Pero dapat klimutan mu ung pgmmhal mo  sken…mgmahal k ng iba..wag mo rin sabihin ung pghihintay..darating at darating din yan..qng talagang destined..tama ba?!!…

oo na!!..pxalamat k mahal kita..gagayahin q n lng c trixia…my naipalit kgad ky kenkoy nia..hahahaha!..

"Gnon..ok lng un…magbf k ng iba…pakabait k ha…

ngek?!..pakabait aq?!.hehe..para nmang ang bad girl q…auq muna magbf ng iba ngaun..kaya q 2…anjan k p rin nman para saken db?!…saka ung cnsabi mu knina…tama nga un…d nman nten alam ung will ni God,eh..

"Cno ipapalit mo sken?!…

ngek?!..waLa!..haha..kayA q nmAng mamuhay ng siNgLe,eh..ano k ba…sa 22o Lng..dun sa unang 2 beses n nagbreak tau…d nAman 22ong ngkabf aq..sabi q lng un..kc may napalit k kagad saken…

"GnoN…wag mo n phirapan sarili mo..mgmahal k ng iba…

 ang kuLet tLGa…auq nga..d ganUn kadali un…yaan mo pag my bago n q bf..kaw unang makakaalam…=(

Sorry…

hehe…

kalimutan mo n ung pgmmhal mo saken para maging msaya ka na…

masaya nman aq,ah..tnx ha..kc ikaw ung reason behind my smile..nagtxt n saken  c mama..wag q dw dibdibin..my likod p dw nman aq…

Pwede nman  aqng maging rizon ng pagngiti mo…frend mo p rin nman aq..hanap k lng ng katuLong q…

magkano sweldo?!hehe..

Mahal ka ng kukunin mo at mamahalin mo rin..d n kailangan ng sweldo  para mpasaya ka..

kulet tlaga…d q nga kelangan ng iba bazta anjan ka…bzta anjan ka..paulit ulit n lng tau,ah…d rin pala ma22pad ung deal nten dati..tanda mu p un?!..{deal nmen un nung hizkul p kmi}

Ung  pag nagkita tau ulet..tau uli…tanda q p un…iba n deal nten..maghanap k n poh ng iba..tapoz kung tau talga,eh di tau..Yan…

sana talaga ganun lng kadali un..:’(..yaan mo mppgod din aq..dOn’t wori..

"Hayy..yan n nman tau…

kulet mo kc…

Hayy…Sorry tlga..Pero ito ung tama,eh..d n kc tama yang gngwa mo sa sarili mo…Plz namn..kalimutan mo n q…

oo na!!…oo na!!…

Sorry…

hehe…

hayy..an2k  n q…sorry ulet..goodnyt poh…

haha..aun!..inan2k k din..hehehe..geh..mejo late n nman 2Log q ngaun…lagot ka..pinuyat mo q…

Sorry..napuyat kita…

_if onLy he cud feEL d pAin im feeLin’ dat  nYt_

.naUboz Luha q dun..umaga n q nka2Log..;(

    i dOn’t kNow y i keep oN Loving d same pErzOn hu huRt me dAt mUch..i dOn’t kNow y i kiP On waitiNG fOr sUmOne hu wazn’t dEr 2 begIn wid..i dOn’t know y i oLweiz wanted him bAck into my Life..i dON’t  know….i reALLy dOn’t kNow...am i reALLy dat nUmb?!..yez,mOving oN is eAzy..wat’z mAkin’ it hArd is d pErzOn behiNd…=’ (

.02.03.08.

guy: [kowt]

girL: watta?!.ampotpot nmAN nun..hahaha..

guy: maguLo nga buhay niA db…

girL: haha..ang guLo nga dami twizt..muzta?!..

guy: auz Lng…ikw?!..

girL: auz Lng rin?!..haha!..

guy: bakit mY queztiOn mark?!…

girL: La Lng..haha..d q xUr,eh..haha…

guy: Bakit nman…

girL: bazta Lng..haha..yaAn mu lNg…wag mu n Lng pansinin..hahaha…nAmiz kita..

guy: Owz?!…nmiz dw aq…bkit nga d k xUre….

girL: haha…ayw n nmAng maniwaLA..haha…

guy: O cia..cge na..naniniwaLA na….

girL: nyAHahaha!..hAlAtang napiLitan…haha..aUZ Lng nMAn qng d k mniwALA,eh..haha..

guy: Uhmmm…..bkit mo b q naMiz?!..

girL: pweh!..pa-uhmm uhmm k p jan…haha..namiz kita kc..uhmmmm…hahah!!…

guy: bkit mo nga ba q namiz…

girL: namizz kita kz…nakakamizz k,eh..haha!..

guy: nkakamizz pLA aq…akaLain mu un…

girL: haha…akaLAin mu nga nmAn un..

guy: niLoLoko mo Lng ata aq,eh…

girL: ngek?!..bkit nmAN kita LoLoqhin?!..

guy: Ewan q..mAlay q b…

girL: ganun?!.. ganYan pLA tingin mu xken?!..

guy: Sori….

girL: kain na..

guy: Tapoz n poh…

girL: aUn..d mAN Lng naNg-ALok…

guy: Eh qng agawan mo q?!..hehe..joke..

guy: _____________________

girL: weh..haha..

guy: weh ka jan..

girL: haha…bLAnc,eh..d q aLAm sasagOt q..haha!…

guy: Gnon?!..

girL: oo..gAnun..haha..

guy: Magkwento k nmAN…Muzta LuvLyf mo?!…

girL: hahahahha!!!..pweh!..anUng kkwento q?!..

guy: Nagtanung n nga aq paRA may masagOt ka…

girL: haha..gAnon..

guy: Ano nga…

girL: haha..anung anu nga?!..

guy: TntanUng k,ai..

girL: haha..ung Luvlyf b?!..waLA..weak.haha…d p q nkakamuV-on..nstock n ata aq xeo…

guy: Bkit  gAnon…HAyy…

girL: aLin ang bkit gNon?!!...

guy: Sori…

girL: san?!..

guy: sa lahat..ang laki ng ksalanan q sau..

girL:haha!..auz Lng yAn…tAnga Lng tALga aq kea d aq mkamuv-on..

guy: wag mo nman tAngahiN sariLi mo…

girL: weh..bkit nmAn..22o nman,eh..

guy: Ksalanan q un,eh…kya nsasaktan ka..

girL: haha!..anu k b?!..auz lng un..bubu lng tlga aq kya  d q kyang alizin nraramdaman q xeo..[ahaha!!watta word!]

guy: Sori..ang laki laki ng ksalan q sau..

girL: weh..haha..auq netoh..mxado mdrama…haha…ksalanan?!..d k nman nambabae,db?!..d mu din nman aq niLoq,db?!..

guy: Oo nga..NAmbabae?!..Ndi nman…NiLoq?!..Hndi rin nman.MAhal nman tlga kta pag cnsabi   q un…

girL: un nman pala,eh..wala kang kxalanan..mxado lng talga aq nagreact dun sa situaxon kea mzyado aq nzAktan..

guy: Ano mggwa q pRA m2Lungan kta?!..

girL:waLA..haha..LAgi  qng cnasabi n mghihintay aq xeo..pero tae…wala nman pala aqng hnihintayin…

guy: Sabi mo aq ung hinihintay…bkit bglang wala pala?!.

girL: d q nmAN aLAm qng mhAL mu p rIn aq..bka kc hntay nga aq ng hintay..pero ung taong mhaL q pLA ayw ng bumALik..:(

guy: Hindi nman cnabing o wla namang cnbing babalik agad o malapit ng bumalik,db..mhal p rin nman kita..pero d nman pwedeng lagi kng gnyan..ndi din nman pwedeng lagi aqng and2…

girL: ewan q ba…yaan mu n lng muna…

guy: Hayy..magmuv-on k n lng muna…pwede b?!..tingin  q mas mkkbuti sau un,eh..pwede poh ba?!..

girL: ampotpot…ndi un ganun kdali noh..saka auq nga..okei lng nman aq ng ganito,eh…

guy: Wag mo pgilan  sarili mong mgmahal ng iba..auz lng nman un,eh…d din nman aq krapatdapat sa pgmamahal mo….

girL: weh…auq ngang mag-muv-on,eh...bazta mghihintay aq..saka lng aq ttgil pg cnbi mung tama na…d p nga tapoz ung fairytale nten,eh…

guy: Nasang part n b ung fairytale nten?!sa tingin mo we will live happiLy ever after?!..

girL: ewan q..hehe..wala p nga ata sa climax un,eh..d mu p nga aq nkikita ulit,eh..haha…i’m u’r imaginary priNcess!..haha…

guy: Kya nga,eh…daya mo…

girL: ahahha..anu kinadaya q?!..auz lng yan…d p end ng story..hehe..

guy: Ok..hayy..pero wag mo nmang ganyanin sarili mo…

girL: haha?!..bkit..inanu q b sariLi q..don’t wori..okei Lng nman aq,eh…

guy: Sure k lng ha…

girL: oo nman..xur un..geh na..nytz..switdrimz..ingatz.. i miz uh..u’l olweiz be my baby..=)..tnx..

guy: Ok..Pahinga k na..Goodnyt..switdrimz..Ingatan mo sarili mo,ha…

________________________fin_____________________________

    it’s beeN a mOnth sInce a LAst pOsted a bLog…dat’s y i’m hERe agAin.. wahaha!.. em sO bOred aGAin…so daMn bOred..cAn’t think oF sUmthin’  2 fEEL fREE frOM diz fEELing..i’m sO tiRed of dOin’ d same thiNg everydaY..i waNt sUmthin’ diferreNt.. zzzhhh….fAr way diFfrEnt frOM d usUAL thingz em dOIN’ ..bOredOm-as wat em oLweiz sayin’…it’s kiLLin’ mE..

    enewei…em rEALLy wOnderin’ y der’s zO mAny EMOS exiztiNg tOdAy…and i cAn’t stOp thinkin’ wer diZ F****n’ styLe originatEd..wahaha.. i jUSt cAn’t uNderztand y dO sUch piPoL Luv beiN’ aN eMo..ok..ok..i’m a LOner..aND ofTen fEEL sad..anader thing is..i LUv eMo hairstYLe..d bANgs!..haha…it’z reALLy cOOL…aNd i’m Luvin’ it..hahaha..i do Luv EMO theme in mAH LAyoutz...bUt i’m nOt cOnsidering mAhseLf aZ an EMO one..coz if i dO bELOng 2 doz nitwit pErsons,so cALLed "EMO",i wud be a F****n’ genre,deN.. If uh think I am, pLeaZe educate urseLf. EMO is a GENRE. Not a F♥CKING LIFESTYLE OR A F♥CKING
CULTURE(yea I don’t like this coz it’s so exaggerated.)

 [wahahA..i've got doZ wordz fROm hANjAeLO..haha..]..aNd i think he’s dA*n ryt..:drooL:.. :eek: :rolleyes: nyahaha!!..

 piz 2 aLL "EMOS" out der..nyahahA!…em jUZt bOred..it jUZt haPPened dat i haTe "EMOS"  dat’z y i choze diz onE az my tOpic fOr mah bLog 2dAy..wahaha!..em zo xOri 4 dat,yoh!. dey often saY dat bEin’ eMO is cOOL..If so,why?!..wat’z d cOOL thin’ abOut bein’ an EMO.?!.hurtin’ urseLves usin’ a bLAde?!..knife?!..sLash?!.. wahaha!. .what kind of nuMbness is on ur mindz?!.. ok..ok.. i hate sELF-pROCLAimed eMO!.. uh,prObabLy dON’t kNow wat reALLy  "EMO"is…ooopzz..or sHud i say..uh dON’t reALLy knOw wat EMO iZ.. az wat i hAv sED LAteLy.. EMO is a GENRE. Not a F♥CKING LIFESTYLE OR A F♥CKING
CULTURE…hope u’r gEttin’ mah pOint…dOn’t LAbeL diz az aN insULt.. i’m jUZt givin’ mah opiniON..wahaha..zo pLease..tO aLL EMOS out  der.. dOn’t try 2 kiLL me afTer uh rEAd diz one..wahaha…

    i’m kinda tired  of typing nA…hahaha..tiLL der… wahahahaha!!.. ☺ ☺☺☺ 

oopz..additiOnaL_paLa..haha…

em_deaLing_wit_emo_poserz..haha..

Walking Genre
-term fOr d seLf-prOcLaimed  .EMOS..

of course, walking is one of the thingz dat people do, so walking genre.. in a nutshell, can a genre walk?! lmao.nyahaha!!..☻☻☻.may long bangs/skimpy gay jeans/ wrist cut/ or an effing crybaby. XD

Scenester
-only knows the scene, not the music,
poses for what he knows, loves getting attention(that’s so gay :D)

Misinformed
-might be a scenester, or a poser.

a person who was misinformed, knows that emo is about cutting wrists
and not about Rites of spring, fugazi, moss icon, emo summer. a normal
person or one of those walking genres.

Poser
- from the word "pose" only poses, showing his gay fucking cutwrist to his effing friends.(lol)

ahihi. tc ..^,^V
tnx_readerz!!.haha.
commentz_pLeaze!

here i am again…aLone..my Life is going downhiLL..my heart juzt
keep on breaking and breaking again…i’m becoming so numb..y am i  feeLing diz way?!..i wanna scream….i wanna shout..but no wordz are coming out of my mouth everytime i’m trying to….  pain..pain..pain…so tired of diz feeLing..how can i get rid of diz numb emotion….dizguizing..dizguizing..dizguizing..yeah.. it’z an art dat secOnd nature wid me..i’m wearing a mazk..a thouzand mazk dat i’m afraid 2 take off..keep on saying dat i need no one…hiding oL d heartaches wid a smile..but, beneath lies fear..confusion and aloneness..i don’t wana let anyone 2 knw about it for i panic at the tot dat my weakness wiLl be expOZed..dat’z y i frantically create a mask to hide behind…im afraid 2 know dat deep down,i’m nothing…afraid 2 Let uh see d real me and rejEct mE..so i pLay my game..my "desperate pretending game " wid a facade of assurance w/o and trembLing chiLd w/in…i hate d fact dat u’r foOled by me…can’t uh feEl d heartaches w/in me?!..pLz..don’t be fooLed by what i am saying..but peeL watever cover uh cud see..so uh can heLp me out..coz aLL i need is acceptance..Love..and suMone hu can make me feeL dat i’m worthy..i’m tired of playing diz fooLizh game..i’m teLLing uh everything dat’z really nothin’..and nothin’ wat’z of everythin’...i keep on pretending dat i’m hapi in front of many pipOL,use 2 Laf and make dem beliv dat i’m feeLin’ reaLly okei. .but wen nobody’z around..aLl i can do is to LUk up..tuk a deep breath and wait untiL tearz broke up from my eyes and stream suddenLy and unstoppabLy down my face…sheeesshh…i’m crying aLmozt every night..i need sumone 2 shed my tearz…i hate hiding…i don’t Like pLaying superficiaL game..pLz.. help me remove my mazk…don’t jUzt pazz by me…i fight 4 d very thing i cry out for..pLz try 2 break down d  waLLz around me……..:’(

girL: {G.M}..xo..oh-ey nman ng kokey..henaku. .kain n poh keo..:))

guy: Kurikurikurikok…Hehe…

girL:patay tau jan…

guy: At bkt..Hehe…

girL:waLA Lng..para kng bAta…

guy: Gnon..nkktawa kc…

girL:nkktawa??!!xo oh-ey nga,eh..lalo n cna eugene..and hunky zanjoe..

guy: Anu kya qng ganon k magsalita…

girL: hewan q Lng..=P

guy: Saguli2,haay hwag mong sbihing kgaya kha nga nila..

girl: Saguli2,haay hwag mong sbihing kgaya kha nga nila…??!!..hanu daw??!!..

guy : Ewan..mnood k ng kokey para magetz mo..Hehe.. .

girl: nyaha..ganun..cge bukaz mnu2od uli aq..waaah…

guy: Hehe…

girl: over nman kc..d n nkktawa compared dun sa original..at parang 5 tymz q p lng ata nappnuod ung kokey ngaun..

guy: Ganda mandin ng storya ng original nun…

girl: d q n nga tanda un..nyaha..bzta a ng tanda q lng,eh ung nihuhuli nila c kokey..taz ung unano pLa nhuLi niLA..

guy: Bsta alm q eh mganda..hndi q n mtandaan…

girl: tgal n kc nun..elementary p ata aq or kinder..ainaku..bzta oh-ey ang kokey ngaun,okey? ?!!..

guy: Oo na…

girL: labag nman ata s klooban mu..fan k ata nun,eh…

guy : Hndi..nkakaenjoy lng pnuorin..

girl: waaaaaah..hanung nkkenjoi dun??!.. sbagay.. hiba2 nman pnnaw ng tao…

guy: Eh.kesa namn ala aq mgawa..

girl: dami2 pwd gwin,eh..mggtra..mgbasa..mgflute {runong k nun?!}..mgsulat ng literature.. mgde sign..mgnet..gumala! !..qmain!!.. soun dtrip..wahaha..

guy: Hayy…

girl: 2log na…

guy: Nood p qng lastikman.. bwahahahahahahahahha….

girl: laztikman??!ung keh vhong?!pLAbas n b un?!..

guy: Oo,nung monday p..Pgktpoz ng kokey..kya ng pati kokey nppnuod q n..kc ang blak q lng tlgang pnuorin, lastikman…

girl: ah..bka ung nkita q knina n my lumilipad lipad..ung prang mga alien din..anu b yan….

guy: Cguro un nga…

girl: ah..mhilig k pla s mga ganyan…

guy : Hndi msyado..trip lng…

girl: uhmm..i see trip lng pla,ha…

guy : Gus2 q kcng tingnan qng mganda ung mge effcts…

girL: ah,gnun..bkt..meh balak kng mgproduce ng malalaztikman n pLAbaz.. hmmmm..halata ngang animated knina…

guy: Gus2 q lng tngnan…

girl: ay xa…uu na…

guy: Kulit mo kc…

girl: mkulit aq?!a-ah nman..xeruzo nga aq ngaun…

guy: Ah..anu n nga pla tau…

girl: ha??!tao..anu k b nman…

guy: Akala q p nman xeruzo k…

girl: xeruzo un..d aq ngbibiro..tao tlga tau…

guy: alam q..alam mo nmang d un ang ibig sbihin ng tanung q…

girl: anu b ibg sabihin nun..pkilinaw..

guy:Pbayaan mo n lng..M2log n Lng tau…

girl:anu nga..db nnunuod k p laztikman..bkit m22log n kgad…

guy: Tpos n knina pa..Cge…

girl:ahh..anu muna..nkakainiz k nman..22lugan mu n nman aq….oi nman..an g daya mu tlaga..xeruzo na. ..ainaku..gnyan ka….

————– keniz…hehe…grrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrr….——————-

keLan ba 2??!hehe…mizz him xo mUch nA..huhu…

girL: xori pOh sa lHAt..huhu..qng mAy ngwa mAn pOh aq..huhuhu…i’L be gOne for a whiLe..gOnna mizz uh…:((

guy: Sorry dn s lhat ng kslanan q
sau..Slmat dn poh dhl nging msya aq..Wg
n wg mng iicpng hnd kta mnhal o mnmhal..
Yngatz k poh lgi ha…Yngatan m sarili
m…

girl: ^__^..weLcum….

guy: Bkt k
mwwala,ano ggwin m…Lalayo k skn?!..
Kklimutan m q?!…

—–minutez passed..no reply..—- 

guy: Tama nga
cguro ung mga cnbi q…

girl:ndi..mali.. .alam q nmang bc k..d n muna
kta guguluhin..bka mas mguluhan k qng
issby q p ung problema nten s pgging bc
mu…

guy: Un b tlga…

girl: yah..un tlga..bkt ..wag k mniwala qng ayw m…

guy: Alm  q nmang glit k skn,hnd q alm q
ng mpptawad m p q..pro cnb q lng poh
nrrmdaman q,bka d m n q mptawad pro sori
p rin..Hnd q gnus2ng mngyri un…

girL:hnd n q galit xeo..wla nmang mangyayari
qng mgppkmatay aq s galit xeo,db…=)

guy: Ano ggwin ntn…

girl: xka..ndi
nman msasagot ng galit q ung tanung
n.."mhal mu p kea aq.."… (hehe..umiwaz
sa tanung…)

guy: Kht sbihin mng
ndi,alm qng galit k p rin…

girl: d n nga aq galit..nkakainiz..nkakainiz k…d
q kyang mgalit ng 2luyan xeo khit gz2hin q…

guy: Pno maaliz iniz m skn… Pg
cnampal m b q, pg cnuntok m b q maaaliz
n un?!..

girl: cguro…psampal nga ng
isa.. <pak!!>..isa pa…
<pak!!pa k!!pak!!pak!!>

guy: Gus2 m tlga
aq msampal?!…

girl: oo,gz2 din nga kta
tadjakan ng isa,eh…bka skaling mwala
ung mga bgay n  gmugulo xeo,taz uupa aq
ng mgbibitin xeo ng patiwarik…

guy:Gnon b…Cgurado kng mwa2la inis m pg
gnwa m un?!…

girl: oo,kc mpapaltan n
ng awa un…bugbog sarado k n,eh…

guy:Mgkta tau para mabugbog m q…

girL:ha??!..panu qng aq bugbugin mu…

guy:Ggwin q b un,ewan q lng..wag n
lng…Mainiz k n lng..muramurahin m q…

girL: d aq mrunong magmura,eh..leche at
bwisit lng alm q…

guy: Hayy…d m nman
cguro aq maippptay?!…

girL: bkt nman kta ippptay…d p nman aq ganun kbrutal
at kaharaz..mmmtay k b sa sampal…bka
nga sumala p un,eh…

guy: Sori tlga..d q n malaman gagawin q…Hayy…

girl: hehe..kya mu yan..myabang
k,db …nytz..yabyu…

guy: 2log n tau..Mbuti p dati khit d tau,mas sweet p
tau sa isa’t isa..khit d kta gf dti ms
nrrmdaman qng mhal m q..Nytz…

girl: miz q n nga un,eh..pati ikw,miz q n ung
dati..geh..nytz..2log n tau..sna
bukaz..auz na..prang magic..=P

—-2lugan na..hehe—

girL: morning..hayy..T__T. .i tot i’d be
hapi.pro sumthin’z buggin’ me
now..andaming tanung sa utak q…

guy: Sori..Hindi aq krapatdpat
sau..n saktan n kta ng sobra2…

girL: pero..bkit..

girL: bkit d mu alam..usap nman tau ng
xeruzo..

guy: Hnd q alam..Pde poh bang magcmula
ult tau bilang mgkaibigan muna…tingin
q kc mas mgging mbuti un,eh…

girL : alam q…geh n nga…magstart tau
ulet..haha..date tau..wahahahahha….

—–break n b un??!hehe…bitin..- —

love him..huhuhuh…♥–07–♥

guy: (bLAnc msg)

girl:(rongsent)..ndi q alam qng okei kmi
oh ndi,eh..nyaha..nagalit kc zken un
nung monthsary nmen..d q kagad
nabati..kala q 5 p lng,7 n pla..hehe..

guy: rongsent pa,ah..

girl: gcng k p pla..

guy: para knino un…

girl: ky thuna..nmali aq..bgla k kz ngtext..

guy: d nga cguro tau okei..

girl: ahh..okei..sabi q nga di tau
okei,eh..teka..penge muna aq ng atleast
5 reazonz qng bkit ndi..

guy:ndi q alm..pbayaan mu na…wag mu n
lng icpin un..

girl: dat’z my hatest words from
uh..mgsasabi k ng qng anu taz pg
hiningan kta ng dhilan..gnyan sgot
mu..ainaku..

guy: pbyaan mu n nga…ndi q nga alam..

girl: asus..ndi dw alam..d mu n nga aq
mhal..un un..

guy: bkt m nsabi yan?!..bhala k nga qng
anu gz2 mu icpn..

girl: eh,un ung nrrmdaman q ,eh..prang
un ung ibg mu plabasin..bkit.. mhal mu p
ba aq,"baby" q??!!

guy: wala ka nman pinaniniwalaan sa mga
cnabi q..bhala k n mgicp qng anu
isasagot q jan..

girl: anung wlang pinaniniwalaan ka
jan…eh..ang kapal nman ng muka q qng
iicpin qng mhal mu p nga aq..gz2 q xeo
mngagaling,eh..

guy: alam m..sa 22o lng..minsan madali
pra sken n sbihin n mhal kta..pero
minsan parang nguguluhan aq..ndi q alam
q ng bkit…sorry ha…

——no reply from girl—–
few minutez passed by………

guy: (blanc message)

girl: =)

guy: sorry..

girl: ^__^

Guy: mgkakaintindihan tau nian..

girl: =’(

guy: anu tau…

girl: tao tau..

guy: ganda..anu gz2 m gawin ngaun..

girl: (-.-)..ma2log..

guy: bahala ka nga..

girl: pgbgyan mu n muna aq ngaun..bgla
aq inan2k s cnbi mu knina,eh..22lugan n
nga sna kta,eh..pra nman mkabwi aq s mga
tymz n tinutulugan mu q..

guy: pbayaan m n nga..cge na m2log k
n..bka d n aq mkapgtext ng mtagal..

girl: bkit nman…

guy:  m2log k na…cge…

girl: bkit muna..sabihin mu lng
dahilan,22log n q..

—————————————

ang sakit..ang sakit sakit…:((

nyaha..un n un…wahaha..kala nio qng
anu na noh..haha..

 i’m feelin’ bLue..the more i try 2 keep pipOL
w/in my grasp…d mor dey tend 2 fLoat away froM mE..dat makez me feel lyk
standing on a void….—EMPTY—…i don’t wanna fall 2 pieces but i don’t know wer 2 hOLd..
     i’m Having trOUbLE sLeeping nOwadayz..maybE becoz of "hiM" en’ d prObLEm between uz..or maybe bcOz Lot of gUyz aRe Alwayz thinkin’ about mE{inCLuding HiM}.. wahahahha….<kapaL q tALAgA > niwei..4get about it..haha…shheeesshhh!…
    perhapz,most
pipoL cUm 2 a point in their Livez whEreiN dEy aRE unXur of
dEmzeLvez..sElf-doubt coupLed by sELf pitty cAused by the hurtfUl
wordz…diz caUzed onE 2 feEL depressEd..it saddens me…i don’t know
y..=(…wat’z happennin’ wid me…i felt lyk sumthing was a miss..lyk
my lyf isn’t supposed to be diz way..i felt trapped in the world dat i
don’t completely understand…i want out!!..i wanted 2 die..:’(

"pAnu nA beaUty q?!!..sayAng nman…."…^__^